Advent and the Light

As we continue through the season of Advent, this week’s episode of the Allender Center Podcast invites you to linger in the profound mystery of light and darkness found in John 1. 

Dan and Rachael reflect on the richness of this passage, offering insights into the paradox of the light that reveals all yet remains unseen by many.

“In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:4-5)

Through their conversation, Dan and Rachael explore:

• why arrogance and dogmatism can obscure even the brightest of truths,
• how Jesus, the true light, shattered societal and religious expectations of power and hierarchy, and 
• what it means to embody vulnerability and hope in a world steeped in exploitation and suffering.

With honesty and humility, they wrestle with the ways we — individually and collectively — can miss the light of Christ in our midst. Yet, we’re also reminded of the profound hope of the Word made flesh, dwelling among us still.

Episode Transcript:

Dan: Rachael, we began last time the Bible quiz, correct?

Rachael: Yes.

Dan: And you did pretty well.

Rachael: I got a 50 out of 100.

Dan: You did. You did really well. So again, you know that we talk about two kinds of revelation, general revelation, which is often what we refer to as nature, and then special revelation, the word of God. So I gave you a test with regard to special revelation. Are you ready for one, for general revelation?

Rachael: Sure. Let’s do it.

Dan: Okay. How did you listen to the world around you and what did you hear?

Rachael: Since our last conversation?

Dan: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Every second you take, your grade goes down. So it’s…

Rachael: I know, but, I mean, honestly, I also have a lot of empathetic gifts because of the way God wired me. And maybe I’m just a very sensitive human being. So sometimes listening to the world around me gets really overwhelming and noisy. And I feel like this is more one of those seasons where people are afraid, people are angry. And so listening to that energy, thinking about driving in traffic feels a little bit like just a really scary thing. Also, it’s darker a lot of the time, and this is the season of death and decay for a lot of creation, of shedding, of making space for the cold. And I actually love fall and advent are my favorite seasons. So I’m not opposed to it, but it is a different kind of invitation of vulnerability in a season where I feel like I actually need to be well defended.

Dan: And in the in-between, I had the chance to, Becky at one point said, come out on the porch, the wind is whipping. And there was enough rain, but not again, the down more the side rain that’s just fine, feels cold. And she’s like, come sit outside with me. And I’m like, I’m in my pajamas. I don’t want ’em to get wet. It’s like, they’ll dry. So I went out and again, that sense of we are so small, even in the presence of a moderately blowing wind and that sensibility of the arousal, the pleasure, but also the, oh my gosh, what if this were 20 miles more per hour? It would be somewhat dangerous to be outside. So that was my moment of being able to go, oh, there’s so much to be heard. But also we’re going to step into a second category, and that is so much to be seen. So I’m going to read for NIV. John 1 starting in verse 4. A longer passage, but again, one that it’s so rich that all I can say is get a cup of coffee, some hot chocolate, maybe some marshmallows, and just enjoy the richness of this passage. “In him was life, and life was the light of mankind. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe he himself was not the light. He came only as a witness to the light, the true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world. And though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. Children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God, the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only son who came from the Father full of grace and truth.” Again, if we were wise, I think we’d read it one or two more times, but we’ll talk a little bit before we end and read one more verse. So what do you do with the fact that the light reveals, can’t be overcome by darkness, but apparently nobody sees the light?

Rachael: Well, it actually feels very apropos for what I experience in our world right now and heartbreaking and infuriating and sickening ways. And I include myself in that often. So that’s not, it is an indictment against people who claim to know God and claim to walk in the light and yet know nothing or very little of the fruit of the spirit, but not one without profound humility to include myself. And so in some ways it feels like as much as I’m like, what I do with that? It feels familiar. And yet I mean I always linger and get stuck at, and the word became flesh and lived among us and is still among us. There’s something in me that still holds hope that we will see more clearly and more fully.

Dan: Well, I think how many times I think that by studying something, by thinking about something, I should understand it. And the idea of well just turn the light on and yes, literal light, but also metaphorical, just more information will be enough if we only know more, then we will do right. And that assumption does not address this heartbreaking portion of the passage. And that is the creator, the one who all praise, honor and glory is due, isn’t even recognized. I mean, most of us know very recognizable human beings who are celebrities, and if we were to encounter them on the street, we’d have that, oh my gosh, there’s whatever. And then you go whatever celebrity might move you. How about the creator? Would that not take your breath away like, oh my gosh, there’s God. Well, apparently John is trying to say not just from the standpoint of the incarnation, but literally looking at the reality of what the word Jesus is seen and then not seen, ignored, denied. And in some ways we can make, I think this extrapolation that sometimes the most obtuse people are those who are religious, who think they see, don’t see, but in their presumption think that they’re the only ones who see. And when that becomes the case, there’s nothing that blinds the human heart more than arrogance or any form of dogmatism. So at least as we talk about the world we’re in there feels like this massive spell blindness that celebrates predatory narcissism in our leadership celebrates the kind of violence that is inevitable, past, present, and future. And you go, who did that not get seen? And again, not trying to re-litigate the past election or anything that will go ahead other than to say, do we have eyes to see knowing what will come and blindness, at least in this case is chosen. I refuse to see Jesus, the word being present, calling forth for a very different way of exposing darkness through the power of light.

Rachael: And I mean, part of why Jesus, his own people didn’t recognize him and see him is because he broke all kinds of boundaries of what they understood. And in some ways because of the laws given to them of what was pure and un-pure and who God would be associating with, what the rules of power and hierarchy and society were and how Jesus wasn’t interested. And also this interplay with power and in some ways understandable for the Jewish people in Jesus’ time, understandable desire for a kind of power that would contend with the oppressors that they were under, while also oppressing each other or other people as a form to not be as oppressed by the oppressors. So there’s also this longing to see the Messiah come in a kind of powerful way that would actually utilize the power of this world, not turn it on its head, not expose it, not bring a different kind of power that’s actually really risky and not necessarily going to eradicate suffering. And so yeah, it’s a light that comes in a different kind of power. And we talk a lot about the power of vulnerability, which is sometimes easy to talk about when you don’t have to face as many vulnerabilities as others. So it’s not a glorification of suffering. It’s actually an indictment on power of this world and the misuse and abuse and exploitation of power. And so yeah, in some ways this sense of the word, the light being full of grace and truth, that’s a very beautiful and powerful pairing that I think many of us could say, oh yes, I love grace and truth.

Dan: Yeah, well, there’s a cost. And again, let’s just us that Jesus disrupted Sabbath and Sabbath was a central community built structure following the fourth commandment, when Jesus disrupts Sabbath or the way it was practiced, he’s dealing with the systemic structure of how a people would identify themselves. So the moment you create a disruption and identity, there’s going to be both pushback but not curiosity, not a, what’s the light doing here? What am I seeing now that I didn’t see before? And not just disruption of Sabbath, but disruption of circumcision. So we’re talking about disruption of rituals, of patriarchy, disruption of the nature of identity. So the fact that the people of God didn’t want to see and didn’t see the creator disrupting, not controverting, but redefining what Sabbath is, redefining what a circumcised heart is. And so entering into the reality of Christmas is at least what we’re trying to knock on the door is to say what religious, what political, what financial, what economic, what justice systems have you presumed to be good and true that this baby is messing with? And that light is a light that is going to cost every one of us to begin to ponder. And also to know I don’t have much of an answer. I just know that empire that is structures and systems that demand compliance and if there’s failure will almost inevitably involve exile. You will be sent away from the tribe if you begin to see in a new light realities that your peers, sometimes your spouse, your friends, see in a radically different way. Now we’re in that point of going, do I really want Christmas? Do I really want a savior that disrupts and bears sufficient humility to not demand. Hey, by the way, I am, God, you hear me again? If we come back to this category, which we’ll be talking about a lot this year, Jesus couldn’t be any further from the narcissistic structure of many leaders. He’s not demanding that you see him. He’s simply the light that if you wish to see, you will see things you don’t want to see, but you’ll see what you most desire, which again opens up a sort of befuddling. What did he just say? I don’t think he made a lot of sense. So makes sense of what I didn’t make sense of.

Rachael: I felt like that actually honestly where my brain was going is like, oh yeah, and Jesus doesn’t come in a way that also demands control. And I was mostly where I went was how much I am being confronted in this particular advent season of my own understandable, and I have a lot of compassion about this, but my own need for control in order to feel safe. And having a toddler who’s very strong-willed and basically anything I say, whatever, whether it’s please don’t jump off of that really tall playground structure because you will die or you have to get dressed because it’s 30 degrees outside and you can’t go outside of your diaper. Just where every really good form containment is, it’s not just like, oh, I need you to comply to everything I say. It’s like, if you don’t listen, surely, you will die. And just how quick my movement to try to get her to safety or get her to… So I’m thinking about how even God’s desire to bring salvation, to bring goodness, to invite goodness, if I was God 100%, I would be like, and you’re going to do this and you have three choices and you have two minutes to do. So that to me is both infuriating. And also I feel deeply grateful that I am not manipulated into compliance. Now that opens up a whole other scope of issues for me of like, but it’s matters of life and death. And why would you tolerate… I mean that question of suffering, the question of evil. Why would you tolerate so much? Why can’t you just puppet master?

Dan: Oh gosh.

Rachael: It’s not, it doesn’t, not an easy answer, but there is something when I think about the intersection of grace and truth and the light that comes that can’t be overcome. It can’t be overcome.

Dan: Yeah, it’s so hopeful and yet so mysterious, how is he not recognized? How is it, and I’m sure there are some who hear this from the standpoint of talking about the, so-called unbeliever and at one level I am, but even more so how is it that we as believers don’t see, and when we do see, and we presume it’s the only way to see how is it that when we’re with those who don’t see the way we see, there’s not, again, this willingness to listen, to be intrigued in some sense, be captured by different viewpoints versus having a stance that fundamentally is critical, judging and bears an exclusion. You will not be part of my world if you hold these particular views or thoughts as we step back into what the light’s revealing, what the light reveals is what I most deeply desire, grace and truth. Yet it also exposes

Rachael: Exposes.

Dan: I’m a man of judgment. Another word for that is contempt, not grace, but contempt and truth as it serves my own justification for what it is that I demand. When you begin to put words to that, and that came up over a conversation with Becky. I talked a lot about kitchen stuff, but I’ve had a very long day and I fixed dinner and I did most of the dishes and there were reasons why she was not doing a whole lot at that point, and it was very legitimate. But I was coming to one pan that had noodles that had sort of fused to the bottom, I’m scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing. And she walked up and quietly put her hand on my shoulder and she said, you might need to use your fingernail. I’m just going to say I didn’t handle that phrase very well. I am going to repeat only a portion of what I said, but essentially what I said is, well, why don’t you use your fingernail? Why is this got to be mine? I worked all day, I made dinner, I cleaned up, it’s your fingernail, not mine. And I’m not going to fully condemn my response. Just 98% Grace in truth? No. Contempt and self-absorption. And thankfully, I’m so grateful for my beloved, but she just looked at me and started laughing, and it wasn’t mockery by any stretch. It was just like, wow, that was hilarious. And thankfully it caught me so surprised. It’s like light when you turn it on and your eyes have adjusted to the darkness and all of a sudden the light comes on and you start blinking. You would think, oh, I could see now, but it’s like the light blinded me. I was comfortable in my little angry darkness. But in that moment when she started laughing, I’m like, yeah, what’s going to kill me to, shall we say fingernail this noodle out of the bottom of the pot. So it’s so small compared to what we’re facing culturally, globally. And yet again, I want to argue the light is meant to reveal and expose and invite, and it’s the invitation. Yeah, it reveals, it exposes. That’s hard work. But the invitation to glory, that’s where the passage ends up. Glory. What does that do as you engage the glory at the end of that?

Rachael: I think I was still sitting with this combination of grace and truth. I was thinking about what it means to be exposed, especially in places where we actually have a false sense of light or a false sense of the word or a false sense of even our stories and how I think about the story of this nation and systems and systems, wicked systems of power, whether it’s racism or greed or capitalism in a way that’s actually idolatrous or just all the things that are in our midst and how we actually can’t bear the truth. And in part it’s because we don’t actually have enough experiences of grace. Either. And I’m not saying that, oh, people need to be more gracious. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I don’t actually think, this is where I feel like, oh yeah, we have not encountered the word. We can’t see the actual what it means to undergo grace, because grace is a transformation into something beautiful and glorious, but we don’t trust the process. So hold onto our own means of protection, our own denial as if that will save us and not just make us rot from the inside out or make us more violent or vicious or small and cruel.

Dan: So as you put words to that, when you say that in some sense we are unaware of our need for grace, even though we speak about it almost in every sermon, every significant writer, if you’re talking about the reality of what it means to follow Jesus, grace is a pretty central word. Yet what I’m hearing you say is from your standpoint, it is a word that we think we know. In other words, we think we see, but maybe not.

Rachael: I’m just thinking a lot about this and we can cut this out if we need to. It to me feels like we’ve actually, again, we haven’t seen, we equate grace, with’s privilege or provision or goodness or blessing. And so yeah, I don’t know. I do think people know grace and have experiences of grace. I’m not saying no one, and I’m not saying, I just in this conversation around light not being seen, the true light, the light of the world coming even to his own people and not being seen, but to those who do see, get to become children of God and are given power, this power to become children of God. So I know for myself, in the places where I’ve truly undergone grace is actually a kind of restorative justice. It’s usually been a lot of lament. It’s been massive disorientation and reorientation of the story. It’s been confronting ways I’ve been complicit and profound harm or ways that I have actually sought to save my life by being careless or callous about the lives of others. I don’t actually understand God’s economy.

Dan: Take that into my struggle with the pot.

Rachael: Oh, I mean, Becky’s laughter is a profound form of grace. Her in some ways that it’s not mockery, but a kind of surprise and disruption because it is, it’s exposing of like you are being ridiculous, but also I honor that you’re tired. I’m sure she was thinking, do you know how many times I’ve had to do all these things multiple days in a row and how many times I’ve had to use my finger even at the midst of those days to some sense of you do need more resilience. I’m thinking of the amount of times people in my life who have much more resilience than me have been very gracious in saying, you need more. It’s going to be okay, but you need all more resilience and there’s mercy for you. And the truth is you need more resilience. And also, let me help you with this.

Dan: Do you see, I think it’s a generous way to interpret that. And that is, even as you’re talking, I’m grateful that people can’t generally see us as we’re doing this, but I felt exposed and I zipped up my, oh, what’s exactly what I know her body and heart is suffering. Like we’ve been married near 48 years. How many nights have you actually scraped off the noodles? Probably could be counted on one or two hands. All that to be able to come back to offer truth without grace almost always is a form of cruelty, a way of judging. But truth without mercy, as cruel as it will be, mercy without truth, is just another form of deep self-absorption, a kind of like the gospel is me. The gospel is for me. I get to go to heaven, my sins are forgiven. I get to go to heaven and I’m going to tell you all the good news. And they go, oh, wait a minute. Your good news is so conditioned by the privileges that you have in this world. You can’t separate the high middle class life you have with the wonder of what grace has brought. So what does it mean to, again, come back into the realm of being able to see what you were talking about as a restorative justice, a restorative orientation that is not what we normally think of as the word mercy.

Rachael: I dunno, I don’t know if I’m the right person to be talking about this because I mean, I flipped between the binaries, right? Of like, I just want to be merciful. And in some ways I’ve been so conditioned in some ways be merciful to the bully to not not disrupt the powerful, maintain the status quo, or I want to be so violent again, that control. I want to be violent. I want you to feel shame. I want you to feel the contempt because I know that will change you if you just feel it enough. And that’s all understandable. I actually have deep understanding. So I think it’s the place that says it doesn’t have to be this way. There is another way possible. It will not be without cost, it will not be without suffering, and it will not be without revelatory truth that will change you, but set you free and grow your heart.

Dan: Well. For me, I’ve been pondering this coming to name the reality that hate and deceit and mockery has become the lingua franca of our day. It’s become our language and we are in it, whether you see it through a road rage or whether you see it through electoral processes. So I’ve come to be able to name for me that hating seems to be the new sign of integrity. And in some ways, believing lies has become the new sign of wisdom. And that mockery that has become the signature of being able to belong and to be able to go, wait a minute, I know that I struggle with hatred and deceit and mockery. This is not a condemnation of a group of people. I have to begin to look at why do I hate certain political processes and parties, persons? Why do I believe in some ways my bubble’s version of the truth? And why am I apt even quietly or in private settings, mocking. So I’ve got to begin to engage with the light. The light needs to reveal that hatred is not integrity, that lies are not wisdom, that mockery is not the means by which to belong. And if it is, it’s not a community worthy of your soul. So those are the realities in which I want to have the playground of where the light shines and begins to say, you actually could become more a man of love, more a man of truth, more a man of honor and blessing rather than hatred, deceit, or indeed mockery. So as we celebrate the coming of Jesus, we also celebrate in many ways the destruction of all kingdoms and all systems that are not of his.

Rachael: Let me throw in an amen.