Video: Disrupting the Culture
In the conclusion of our video series engaging trauma, abuse, and healing, Dr. Dan Allender is joined by his friend and colleague Wendell Moss for a conversation about naming family secrets, addressing realities that others tend to ignore, the need to appear invulnerable to suffering, and Wendell’s experience of engaging trauma as an African-American man.
Wendell, a therapist and a member of the Allender Center Teaching Staff, shares about learning to wrestle with his stories of trauma and abuse in a culture where you are expected to keep family secrets within the family. There is a fear that comes with exposing what others try to keep hidden, he says. “There have been many times where I have had to wonder if I was being disloyal to my family because of sharing my story.”
“There are many more like me who are not able to address the harm of abuse.”
While it is a common experience for many of us to be greeted with resistance, silence, or distance while engaging stories that bear significant shame and contempt, Wendell argues that this is particular risky for an African-American male. “To share about sexual abuse in a culture that’s taught so much about survival and not giving anything that would make you be vulnerable—to do what I’m doing feels counter to that.”
These videos are scratching the surface of the deep, weighty, and crucial issues explored in our brand new Healing the Wounded Heart online course, which includes more of Wendell’s story along with other individuals who boldly share from their experiences of trauma and restoration. This new online course will invite you to deeper engagement of your stories of harm and your hope for healing. We have been humbled by the process of creating this course and would be honored to have you join us, whether individually, with your spouse, or with a small group. Learn more here.