Dan Allender Talks “God Loves Sex” on FamilyLife Today

dan allender

“Where death wanted to win, where shame wanted to win, where a sense of despair wanted to win—what violence has been done against you and what violence you’ve done to yourself or to someone else—see, the gospel isn’t about that being covered over so we can forget it. The gospel is, actually—now, we can enter this terrain where there is much damage, and begin the process of seeing restoration and rebuilding.”

This week, Dan Allender is a guest on FamilyLife Today, a radio program from FamilyLife, an organization devoted to helping build stronger families and communities. Dan joins hosts Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine for three consecutive episodes—September 16, 17, and 18—to talk about his book God Loves Sex, co-written with Dr. Tremper Longman III.

God Loves Sex: An Honest Conversation about Sexual Desire and Holiness was published in November 2014. The book uses the biblical text Song of Songs as a frame for discussing desire, beauty, physical intimacy, sexual struggles, and the glory of sex. “It’s rare to find a Christian book about sex that is real and helpful and honest. God Loves Sex is all of that and more,” writes Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz.

“What you were made for is way more than what you are currently experiencing.”

Dan’s conversation on FamilyLife Today significantly overlaps with the current series on The Allender Center Podcast, Design of Desire. There is something holy about our desire, including our sexual desire, says Dan. But there is also something frightening—which is why so many of us try to silence that desire through pornography, fantasies, and affairs. So much of that fear, and our tendency to deny our desire, comes from past experiences of sexual harm.

“We have to look through the resurrection at death and say, ‘You don’t get the final word.’ We know death does not win—nor do any of its siblings, despair, destruction, degradation. Therefore, we are able to say, ‘We will be captured by awe, and gratitude, and delight.’ […] The gospel demands that you defy the harm of the past.”

Reclaiming desire and building a healthy sexuality requires communication, vulnerability, invitation, and so much more. This is a crucial conversation, and we are grateful to FamilyLife for inviting Dan to contribute.

The first episode is available here, and the next two episodes can be found on the Programs page after they air.

And don’t miss our Design of Desire podcasts, starting with “The Struggle with Desire” and “Creational Desires.” Stay tuned for Part 3, which will be available this weekend.